The Cleon Crisp-cup

My mum always used to tell me I was special.
Not because I had some sort of mental disablity or anything.
She just said it cuz she was my Mum. That's what Mums do.

You see all those funny people on X-factor who say "My Mum says I'm a good singer" literally straight after they just murdered I Believe I Can Fly, by R Kelly.

Well of course your Mums gonna tell you your good dickhead! It's your fecking Mum.
If she didn't then she could probably get accused of child abuse.

But it still amazes me how much people are influenced by their Mums telling them they're special. I mean I was. I only started acting because my Mum said that.
And it doesn't just stop at Mums either, it could be anyone. Your Dad, your teacher, in fact pretty much anyone with an influence over you.
If they say your special, then you believe them.

But before you believe them, take a long hard look at yourself.
Compare yourself to who you were 6 months ago, and then also what you want to become in 6 months time.
Anything close to what you wanna be?
I bet not.

Deep down. In the gut of my stomach, I know I'm not special.
I'm nowhere near. In fact I struggle to be average.
I want to be special. I really do!

I want a unique and crazy personality where I'm one of a kind. But I just know I'm not.
I look at other people, and admire them for who they are, and that what they do is better than what I can do. I just think, "Wow, I'm just like you, but a diet version."
In fact I get kinda jealous. And I wish I was them.
I mean I could try being something a little bit different to them, so that I'm unique. But I know I never will be. I will always be the same deep down.

Not special.
Not different.
Not unique.

But, what I am however, is a different perspective.
If you've read one of my earlier blogs, I make the brash statement of saying that life is always the same. Good or bad. It's just viewed from a different perspective.

This is most true now.

This person I was jealous of, may be better than me when viewed from a certain perspective.
But from another perspective, or another persons perspective, I completely blow them out of the water.

You tell me how many people you know prefer Diet Coke to normal Coke?
Cuz I know a lot.

Your mum is always right, because she always has the right perspective.

I've left a lot unanswered on this blog, but it's too long, and too late to carry on. If you have any qualms or questions, check this bad boi out: http://www.formspring.me/cleonclarke

Still Alive

You ask anyone what they want in life, and it's always happiness.

Quite rightly too tbh. Happiness is probably the most important thing in life.

Or is it?

Don't get me wrong. I just want to be happy for the next 60 odd years I spend breathing. That is quite literally the meaning of life if I'm being honest. The pursuit of happiness.

But, as with everything, it's no way near as simple as that.

Newtons 3rd Law: For every action there is an equal and opposite re-action.

Hmm.

Lets assume for a second, that to be happy, you kinda need to be a "winner" in life, instead of a loser. I'm not saying that every human being on the planet can be categorised into two catagories, win or fail, but I'm sure you understand what I mean.
I mean, if you fail at everything you do at life, your hardly gonna be joyful are you?
Well if there is such a thing as a winner, then there must automatically be a loser.

It is true that such things such as a "win-win situation" do exist, but they are few and far between. And they dont work out that well.

I believe the real winners in life are the ones who say Fuck It to compromise, and get exactly what they want.

How far would you go to be a winner?

All I want in my life is to be happy.
But if I'm sat on my deathbed, and I say "Shit, I wish I hadn't done that." They I dont think it'll have been worth it. You may have been happy for the majority of your adult life, but if your not happy in your final moments of your life, and you begin to regret, then I reckon you've fucked up somewhere down the line.

I'm scared I'm gonna regret.

But Fuck It.
I'll be dead.
I'm pretty sure I wont give a shit.

Are you supposed to be happy, when all you've ever wanted, comes at a price?