Fresher Than Will Smith

Brum brum.
I need a car. But they're so fucking expensive, and I'm struggling when I only work 16 hours a week.
(Anyone wanna give me another job?)

And lets be honest, with fuel prices as they are, I couldn't even run one if I did have one.
In fact, in all seriousness, I've realised that I even struggle to fuel myself.

I've learnt that as good as finding inspiration and creativity and magic from within yourself is, you are always gonna need fuel to do it. And the better the fuel, the better you will run.

Whenever I drink water over something like Coke, I feel more productive.
Whenever I eat something that I've cooked, rather that a pack of mini chedders, I feel more prepared for the upcoming day.

But the most important fuel I've found, is fresh air.
Fuck me, it feels nice to take a deep breath. Not when you are in a stuffy, humid or closed room, but when you are outside in the sunshine.

It fills you with a sense of clarity that, lets be honest, people can rarely feel on a day to day basis.
But that clarity is beautiful. Just for those few seconds, everything seems alright and easy and stress free.

But then you tread in dog shit, and the feelings gone.
Replaced with the pettyness of life.

Word Grumble 2

Pressure.
The force exterted on a square inch of blah blah blah.

Pressure basically means to press. So where did all this stress come from when people are under pressure?

Lets take a look at that phrase "to be under pressure." People can be put under pressure when they are asked and expected to get something done. Usually with consequences if it isn't done, hence where the stress comes from.
But then why do we use the phrase "under pressure"? When all that means is a force being exacted?

To use a very old adage, diamonds are created from great pressure. I like that phrase.
When I'm put under pressure I love it, because it is forcing me to become better. I can't help it. It is an outside force, pressing down on me and making me harder, and stronger.
Not stressy.

Utilising pressure to create a better version of yourself is a freeing experience. It is no longer you that has to pull out all the stops to become the perfect version of yourself, as it is instead life doing it for you.

Everything you do causes you to be under at least some pressure.

Relish it, it is there for a reason.

"Quote"

"The art of life is to know how to enjoy a little and to endure very much"

"That’s the best revenge of all: happiness. Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good fucking life."

"Death gives life meaning"

"Absolutely nothing good can come out of overthinking things"

"Everyone feels like everyone else, just not at the same time"

"He who stops being better, stops being good."

"To find fault is easy: To do better may be difficult."

"You don't have to have a reason to feel good - you can feel good for no reason at all."

"You may be disappointed if you fail but you are doomed if you don't try."

"He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man."

"Always be smarter than the people who hire you."

"You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body."

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

"I need no quotes, I live my life as I want to."

Word Grumble

I hate the way people perceive the word stereotype.
People always look at is as a bad thing. Racial stereotypes, nationality stereotypes, gender stereotypes, that sort of thing.

But stereotypes are really fucking useful.
They give people an idea of what to think, which is something we need pretty much 99% of the time.
Or else otherwise our heads would explode.
Like boom.

When you read a story, and a character is described as pudgy, chubby, or round, people are instantly forced to think jolly. Probably because of Santa Claus.
When you read slender, you assume sinister.
When you read hunky, you assume hero.
When you read woman, you assume kitchen. (/JOKE)

I hate the way people assume this word, even though assumptions are useful in everyday life.
I hate this assumption, but I love assumptions in general.

Aww who am I kidding, I'm stereotyping things myself.

I guess we need to hate things in life, cuz otherwise they just wouldn't work.

No Evil

Would you rather be blind, or deaf?

If you are blind, you can't see the beautiful aesthetics that are all around the world today. You can't see huge mountains, snow falling and Arsenal playing football.

If you are deaf, you can't hear the amazing inspirations that sounds can so easily produce. You can't hear great crescendo's in classical music, or a rousing speech by an actor on stage.

But whatever happens, you will still be able to live a great life.
Because the best things in life are not heard nor saw.

When you are with your loved ones, the best moments are when no one is saying anything.
When you hug someone, you feel most loved when you close your eyes and lose yourself.

The happiest moments in people's lives are never saw,
or heard,
or smelt,
or tasted,
or felt.

They are lived.
Living is not sensations caused by the 5 senses, but it is something much, much more simpler than that.

Hangover Cure

Urghhh. Dry mouth.
Aches.
Unsettling stomach.

I'm never drinking again!

That's a lie. I will. Probably quite soon actually.
I just need to become cleansed first. To become fresh.

Now usually a quick shower and run would be enough to do this for me. Maybe even a bacon sarnie if I'm gonna go for over kill.
But today, I only need one thing. A video.

Everytime I watch this video, it calms me to a state that can probably only be achieved otherwise through means of some drugs. It's brilliant. And pretty intense too.
It's kinda like a mellow Sigur Ros. If Sigur Ros could get more mellow.

Try it. Grab some headphones, stick it on fullscreen, and make sure you are in a calm enviroment.
I find this beautiful.
And it pretty much could write a blog for me.

Lollipops and Rainbows

Sometimes when I go to write another one of these blogs, I look for an inspiration somewhere.
Whether it be Youtube, Wikipedia, even Nuts magazine, I try to read or watch something that gives me a sense of enlightenment and wisdom. A true awe instigating feeling where everything becomes suddenly clear.

It never really does. But it does get me thinking.
People go looking for these eureka moments a lot. Whether it be in art, or natural beauty, people look for something that fills their need for knowledge and astoundment.

But that's not what art does.
Artists create art to make you feel one, or two certain emotions.
They try to get their ideas and feelings across.
And a lot of them are quite depressing.

And the reason art never gives you this everything-is-beautiful-in-the-world-and-I-now-can-see-it-for-it's-true-colours feeling, is because it doesn't exist.

The world is a nasty place, filled with tiny bits of rainbows and lollipops.

I like rainbows and lollipops. And sunshine. Gimme more.

Crave

I could fucking kill for a pack of Tangy Cheese Doritos round about now.
Like a full pack, all to myself. Fuck yeahhhh.

Why do people get cravings for food?

I've looked it up (wikipedia lol) and apparently there is no one explanation for it.

Is it a desire for the release of hormones that those foods give us?
Or is it a want for a certain feeling that we remember having when eating those foods?
Or is it just hormone fuelled? An imbalance causing a strange brain signal?

But whatever the reason, a craving shows you what your body really desires, without the brain consciously knowing about it. Similar to an addiction.

You never really know when you are addicted to something, until after it's gone.

What would the world be like, if everyone just spent their time trying to fulfill their cravings?
Would people be more sane? Or insane?

Template

[Topic]

[Insert something witty about topic to get people interested]

[Relate to them by saying about something so blindingly obvious in their lives that they never think about it, but because I've said it, they will now think about it, as if it were new]

[Preach my own views. Sometimes as an opinion, sometimes as a fact]

[Insert something witty again, to keep people interested]
[Use meaningless quote to evoke a sense of enlightenment in the reader]

Preaching About You

God is real. But lets get things straight, he ain't no big man in the sky.

He is as real and me or you.
He is real because of what he represents.

In your head and heart, you are not just carrying around your own thoughts and feelings. You are carrying many peoples. You are carrying your inspiration's dreams, your last love's devotion and your best friends loyalty. They make up who you are.

All those little bits of advice that you have been given throughout your life are now a part of you.
Those bits of advice are you.

God is full of advice. And I'm not just talking about the Christian God, but about all religions.
And you take his peices of advice with you, whatever they are, and they become a part of you.
They become your thoughts, and your feelings.
That hope, love and in a strange way independence that he represents, is in all of us.
In fact, it is the strongest part of all of us.

The Beauty of the 7 Sins: Greed

Whenever I think of greed, my mid instantly transports to Charlie and The Chocolate Factory.
The bit with the golden eggs.

That girl is fucking greedy.

Having more than you need isn't good. It causes people who don't have enough to suffer.
And that's not good karma.

But on the average day, how often do you think of others more than yourself?
Even with Comic Relief, I'm looking forward to it making me laugh, more than the fact that it will save people's lives.
Call me a selfish dickhead, but that's just the way I've been brought up. To look after myself more than anyone else. It doesn't mean I'm a horrible person.

But if you're not gonna look after yourself, then who's gonna want to?

Be greedy. It will make your life easier.
And always remember that it's your life you are living, not someone elses.

The Beauty of the 7 Sins: Envy

For me, envy is probably the most destructive of the sins.
It can cause my true demons to emerge, I can do things that I will regret, and most importantly it causes me to change who I am.

But wait, isn't regret good?
Doesn't doing things you regret make you a better person in the long run?

People may hate you and dislike you for who you were, and for what you've done. But in the long run, those hateful emotions become condensed, and weakend, as we only really remember the good times.
Because we desire more good times.

Desire. Envy. Same thing in the popularity heavy world we live in.

Envy causes people to aim higher.
However, it also causes people to steep lower when they go to achieve their aims.

Therefore I have concluded that envy is a beautiful thing, when paired with honor and patience.

The Beauty of the 7 Sins: Lust

Lust.
Another temptation that is widely carried out these days, much like gluttony.
Another pleasure, that must be used correctly for it to be safe, much like sloth.
Another instinct that is pure bliss when it just takes over, much like wrath.

Lust takes many forms, and is probably the most talked about of all the sins.
Think Jeremy Kyle.

But quite a lot of the time, I feel lust. And plenty of times before, I've felt lust.
I've acted upon it, and it's felt good.
It's led to better things.

The greatest thing in the world, is quite often said to be love. Would anyone disagree with that?
I'm lucky enough to have loved. And not just once.
I have loved people in a romantic way, and they'ved loved me back, but that wasn't the case at first. Oh no, before I fell in love with these people, I lusted for them.

Sometimes it's actually hard to tell the difference between love and infatuation. They share the same symptoms, and your body acts in the same way, and therefore sometimes causing you to feel like you are in love. In fact, it's only in restrospect that you can realise how you truly felt.

Lust is basically a mini-love. And what can go wrong with mini-love?

The Beauty of the 7 Sins: Sloth

Today, I'm gonna stay in bed.

Sloth is just like every other sin around. It's a guilty pleasure if done correctly.
Staying in bed all day, not getting stuff done and procrastinating and the like are all brilliant ways to spend a day, if there is something going on with your life.

If you spend all your time not doing work and sleeping and such, sloth can become a horrible disease, that is a pain to get rid of.

If, however, you work hard, play hard and rest hard, then lazyness is the greatest feeling.

Ever watched someone work really really really really really hard, while you're just lying there sippin a pina colada? Fucking epic feeling.
You feel lazy.
You feel strong.
You feel smart.
You feel happy.

Now, put your feet up, and watch Comic Relief, a lot of people working real hard on TV, while you sit there and enjoy the ride.

The Beauty of the 7 Sins: Pride

My pride is my confidence.

I am proud of nearly everything I do, and that works in convincing myself that I am brilliant.
Some call me arrogant, some say I'm a cocky twat. They would be right.

But I don't mind. They can think that if they want. Because to be honest, I'm too proud to listen to them.

If anybody out there wants to know how to not become bogged down by bad criticism, or by hate messages, then it's simple. Be too proud and ignorant to notice.
I don't need to work to become the best. I already am the best. I only work to become better.

Boasting about your achievements may grind some peoples gears, but god damn it feels good inside.

And come on, it's fucking harmless!

The Beauty of the 7 Sins: Gluttony

Need to be careful with this one.
The UK today is about 20% obese, so I'd be stupid to say that no one knows the joy of over eating. Everyone does.
Eating = Happy.
Loads of foodstuffs release certain endorphins and such stuff.

Mmmmmm, chocolate.

I personally eat a lot.
"Then how do you stay so thin and sexy then Conor?" I hear you ask.
Well it's simple. I treat all foodstuffs the same. I judge only for taste.

The second people stop looking at chocolates and crisps as a "bad" food choice, then second they will start eating better.

The reason people over endulge is because it's a taboo! And people like to do taboos! It's exciting.

I will eat a chocolate bar whenever I feel like having chocolate. Not when I'm feeling like I'm gonna be naughty.
I will eat 3 bags of crisps in a row, cuz 1 doesn't fill me up. Not cuz I like crisps.
I drink water a hell of a lot now too. Not cuz I like water, but because its better for my skin.

I don't dislike things because they are good for me, like a lot of people do.
(Oh I hate salad, get me a chocolate bar over that any day!)
Today, actually, I'm gonna eat salad, cuz I've got a craving for it.

The Beauty of the 7 Sins: Wrath

Fury. Anger. Rage.

Getting angry is one of the best feelings in the world.
The moment you just see red, and nothing else matters except exacting your revenge, is such a freeing experience.

You don't have to be polite. Or civilised. Or anything other than violent.

Wrath brings with it a feeling of self destruction.
And while that instantly would suggest it's a bad thing, let's be honest here. When was the last time you truly felt more out of control of yourself than when you were angry? And in the process of self destruction?
Sometimes letting go of control of yourself is a way to see how you are truly feeling.
Letting your instincts take priority.

Don't regret the times you are angry, because at those moments you are as close to seeing how you feel deep down, than ever before. It just takes another perspective to see.

Dr. Pressure

I'm scared. Scared about tomorrow. Scared about the future. Scared about the expectations people have. Scared about challenges.

But most of, scared of my mind.
Scared of what it's doing.

Fight or flight.

When you are put in a dangerous, or scary situation, where you must act to survive, you are given 2 options. Fight or flight.

I'm scared of the situations that I will be put in, in life.
But only because whenever I'm put in those situations, my gut tells me to run.

I don't want to run.
I know that fighting is the best way. The honourable way.
But my instincts don't want to do it.

I need to think about this.

Drunken Idiot/Genius

Why do we get drunk?

Is it an escape from the pressures of life, as you don't care about anything?
Is it so that we can be social?
Or is it just an excuse to act like a fool, and not feeling bad about it.

Acting like a idiot is fun.
Last night I spent 5 minutes dancing the macarena to Barbra Streisand. Fucking stupid as.

The thing is, I wasn't even that drunk. Just kinda, well for lack of a better word, merry.

Afterwards I walked off thinking, that was so stupid. But I didn't regret making a fool of myself.
In fact, I figured that people were probably looking at me, and wishing they had the balls to be such an idiot.

But some people only act like idiots when they're intoxicated.

Acting like an idiot is something we all enjoy. It's not frowned upon, and in fact its encouraged.
But why do the majority of us have to wait until after a few drinks?

Time to grow some balls and forget my pride.

The Idiot Test 6

Games

Chillaxing

I can be very laid back sometimes.
Painfully so actually. So much, that sometimes people actually get annoyed at me because I don't take things very seriously.

I would love to tell you why I don't take certain things seriously, but I can't honestly say.

However I do know that I'm not laid back when I think about things that don't matter.

Such as whenever I don't know where to go in town to have my lunch, I'm like:
"Fucking hell Conor, just choose one you prick, Boot's or Urban Pie."
And I stress.

However when I'm questioned about which University I'm gonna go to to spend the next 3 years, I'm like:
"Meh, not too sure yet."
Therefore I don't stress.

Now is this because my brain has learnt this laid back'ness as a stress supression method, or is it a bit of an idiot move?

Would I be better off stressing about the bigger decisions, and not caring about the littler ones?

Or is saying fuck it to bigger decisions a better way to go?

Can a Match Box?

Motivation.

It's a bitch to find.

And the easiest way to find it, is to tell it to fuck right off.
Fuck off motivation. I don't need you.

Not because you don't need motivation. You need it alright. It's just because anarchy is the fuel of the greatest of motivations.
When someone tells you to do something, your initial reaction is to not do it.
When someone tells you, you can't do something, your initial reaction is; fuck off.

Proving people wrong and doing supposedly impossible things, is how we've gotten to where we are today. It's how people have made themselves great. By doing the impossible.

I'm not trying to turn this into a motivational pretencious FUCK YEAH blog however.
I just wanted to show you how it's funny, then when someone says, and means:
"You can't do that!"

Your initial reaction is to say:
"Watch me"

Not because you want to do it yourself. Just because you want to rebel against the person who says it.

This maze? Now this is impossible.

Message From The Dark Side

Recently I broke my mobile phone, and for the past few weeks I've had to make do with a quite old Motorola.
The KRAZR I think it's called.

It's shite.

I can pick the out the things it does differently to my old mobile, and criticize it all day long.
I hate using it.

So, yesterday, I went outside without it.
For the first time in about 6 years, I left the house without my mobile phone.

And it was brilliant.

Without a phone you have no control over other people.
You can't text people and organise to see them.
If anything bad happens, you can't contact anyone.

It scary. And fun.

Getting rid of my mobile phone got rid of my sense of responsibility. It challenged me to be more pro-active in getting what I needed. Also, weirdly, it gave me a sense of power.

It reminded me that if I want to go see someone, then I had to get of my arse, and go and see them. Not be lazy and just text them.

I'm becoming quite the technophobe.

30 Day Challenge.

Is forcing yourself to do something creative good or bad?

Does hard work spawn good creative ideas? Or do the best ideas come from living and observing life?
I'm gonna force myself to write one blog, per day, for lent.

And force is the right word.

At least for the first few days. But then, after a while, I'm certain that it's gonna become a lot easier.
In fact, getting started is the hardest thing to do, ever.
Your body and brain don't like change, whether it's good or bad.
Adult Story Time
A couple were having trouble with their relationship. They didn't feel like the fancied each other anymore, and the connection between them just wasn't there anymore. In fact, they didn't love each other anymore.
Until they tried the 30 DAY CHALLENGE.

The 30 day challenge, means having sex, at least once a day, every day, for 30 days.
Now, for anyone who has been in a stale relationship, they know that is one hell of a task.
When there is no passion, to just jump straight into bed naked is something you just don't wanna do.
The first few days were a struggle. They both felt tired; couldn't be bothered; wasn't turned on; but they stuck to it. They had sex even when they both would rather go sleep.

And then something interesting happened.

After about 10 days, they both began to start to look forward to seeing their partner again.
They began to day dream about what they were going to do in the bedroom later.
They were thinking of new idea's more regularly, new positions, new ways to excite.
They looked forward to the sex, because they knew it was going to happen.

By the 30th day, they wern't having sex because they had to, but because they wanted to.
And, most importantly, they realised that they loved each other again.

Survival Instincts

Boys. Girls.
Both full of so much bullshit.
And I blame fucking Disney.

Lets think about caveman times. Imagine you were there.
Was there such a thing as romance? Did it exist? I don't think it would have. It's too much hassle.

In fact, lets be honest, why were we created? To pro-create. To have sex. To do the dirty. To fuck.
The only reason the human race has survived, is because we fuck a lot. Causes sperm to go to the egg and so on and so forth.

Which is why, when looking for a potential partner, our instincts always tell us to go for the slutty one. The one that'll put out.
It's natural. Men want women to harbour their sperm, and women want to be blasted in said sperm as much as possible.
It's how we've survived! It's how nature works. You can't argue against it, as in in your genes.
You are programmed to have sex.

So that gets me wondering...... Where the fuck did romance come from?

When did women start wanting sensitive, kind and generally nice guys, when all they really want is a bad ass fucker who is gonna protect them from predators, and fuck them until they can't feel their legs? Like they're programmed to want!

When did guy's want cute, petite, and caring women, when all they really want is a slutty girl, who looks like someone who can take a dick and give birth to their child? Like they're programmed to want!


I blame fucking Disney.

They may not have came up with the whole Price Charming malarky, but they spread the concept worldwide. They turned our desires for a partner, from a badass predator, to a soppy arse git. All because it's nice.
Because it makes us happy.
We're not supposed to feel happy! Hence why when it does happen, it's such a rush!

And anyone who does truly desire this Disney Prince/Princess for a partner, is either infertile, or just plain full of bullshit.

The kind of bullshit that has been drilled into your head for your entire life.
The kind of bullshit that makes you happy.