*facepalm*

Straight to the point. I'm in a rut.

Recently, and for quite a while, people have tried to make me feel like I'm a bad person. Like I'm a villain.

Now with the way I was brought up, I know the difference between right and wrong.
But these people made me question myself. They made me think twice about not just what I've done, but who I am. They made me question what I stand for.
They also seem to have convinced a lot of other people that I'm a terrible, and heartless person. And if so many people thought that, then who was I to say they were wrong?

I mean, I'm sure Hitler thought he was a really nice person. He just had a different point of view to everyone else.
However, a lot of things point the fact that Hitler was a dick. He committed a genocide, and cause the deaths of millions of people.
Everyone in the world must have thought he was a dick. But did he know it?
If he did, did he care? I don't think so.

A lot of people play up to something when they are labelled it. If a kid gets labelled as an ASBO, then he usually goes and becomes even more of a dick than before. If someone gets labelled as a fighter, then he will go and get in more fights. If a girl gets labelled a slag, then they will go out and see more boys. People like to play up to what people think of them, even if it's bad.
Why? So that they belong?
Or are they, in fact, not playing up at all, and instead thats what they were like in the first place, but now its just more noticable.

If everyone thought that Hitler was a nice guy, then I'm sure a lot of people may have forgotten those few million Jews he killed.

What I'm trying to say is; people see what they want to see.

If they know that someone is nice and helpful, then they will look over the fact that he/she just stole someones seat in the social lounge. They will just see the funny side.

On the other hand, if a person thinks that someone is horrible and mean, then they're going to think that stealing someones seat in the social lounge is a horrible thing to do. It adds to their reputation.

On a personal level, I believe I have a reputation. A bad one.
So that therefore when I do bad things, people easily pick up on them, and then use that as ammunition, adding to their assumption of me.
They will forget all the nice things I've done. In fact, they wont even notice them in the first place.

I am not a bad person.

But some people say I am.

I don't know why they say this anymore. I really don't.

"This journey's almost over, I'm the only one left,
Allow me to introduce myself; my name is Walter Nepp,
The other guys have taught you things of great positive worth,
But I'm afraid I'm here to bring you back down to Earth,
See you can live your life in control and be nice,
But even that will not promise you a happy life,
You may think yourself in general to be a nice guy,
But I'm telling you now - that right there is a lie,
Even the nicest of guys has some nasty within 'em,
You don't have to be backlit to be the villain,
Whether it be greed lust or just plain vindictiveness,
There's a level of benevolence inside all of us,
You can paint yourself an image and live in your own little dream,
But this ain't a dream, it's one big silver screen,
So when you think you've got your happy ending don't ever forget it,
It ain't over til you hear the sound of your end credits."